Goodbye to the past..

Dear Love,
As the New Year approaches, I accept that il never meet you again. Il never hold you, il never share a joke with you and we’ll never be together in love again. 

I won’t lay with you or hear you snore, I won’t run to you when you walk through the door.

I won’t tease your breathing, I won’t watch you while you change.

I wont miss your smile and I won’t think of your eyes.

I won’t hold your hand while you drive, I won’t let you stroke my belly.

I won’t tell my baby he’s pretty, I won’t kiss his cheeks.

I won’t rejoice with your wins, I won’t weep for your loss.

I won’t humble your arrogance, I won’t strengthen your weakness.

I won’t encourage your positives, I won’t dismiss your negatives.
But know that I loved you. And I loved you wholly. But to tell you I loved you directly is accepting that I have lost the battle. I never wanted to lose you, not in a million years. 

I loved every part of you. But I cannot mourn that which does not belong to me. And you are not mine to mourn.
Our chapter is over, but you have made the past year a very important time of my life. And il never forget you.. no matter what happens or how our days will end, I won’t forget you. I won’t forget our memories, the good the bad, the arguments, the joys, the sadness.. I won’t forget any of it.
I won’t let myself break in your absence.. I won’t let myself run because I was denied a love I couldn’t live without.
Il never tell you I love you again. I’m never going to hear you say you love me.. I will never speak of you again.
Happy New Year – may new beginnings come to light ❤️


Perfectly imperfect..

There’s no shame in feeling beautiful in yourself without being vain.

There’s no shame in leaving the house with a naked face and feeling happy.

Theres no shame in holding the one you love a little bit too long.

There’s no shame in begging for forgiveness to the people you have wronged.

There’s no shame in lying alone in your room with mascara running down your face when things get too much.

There’s no shame in screaming at the top of your lungs when the pain inside you is physically too much.

There’s no shame in admitting that you can’t cope alone, that you can’t physically bear the pain. There’s no shame in asking for help.

There’s no shame in being weak. There’s no shame in being broken.


December 2016 Buys!

Yes I hit the sales but like a true beauty addict, I just ended up buying all full price items. This post is dedicated to purely beauty items with honest reviews!

Mac Velvet Teddy Matte Lipstick – £15.50

I’ve wanted this for a while but I always get really cautious with lipstick colours.. nothing seems to suit me! But as my first Mac lipstick purchase, it has to be my favourite in terms of texture and quality. The colour isn’t very wintery and seems to make my face look grey, but will save it for the Summer!

Mac Paint Pot Soft Ochre – £16

I heard about this a while ago as being a good primer/concealer for people with dark eyes. I tried it initially but it really greyed out my eyes as my eyes are super pigmented. So will try colour correcting before I put this on, but still it did the job of leaving an even coat of colour on my eyes so I’m super excited about this one.

Bare Minerals Setting Powder – £21

I had my obsession with super glowy and dewey foundation but I thought now is the time to come back to earth and go back to matte again. It just seems to be less hassle. So instead of forking out another £30 quid or so on another high end foundation, I thought I’d fork out money for a product to make my foundation go matte and I found this product. Now I did ask the lady in Boots for advice and her suggestion was to go for a light colour as it didn’t leave an ashy look when you applied it.. I beg to differ. Ive got olive skin and I don’t think the light to medium shade did me any favours at all. However the powder itself is great and has a really lovely finish. 

The Body Shop – Bouncy Sleeping Mask (£12?)

My. Favourite. Purchase. Ever.

The Body Shop staff have to be the most helpful people I’ve ever come across in a beauty store. I walked in and said I have really dull and boring skin and she immediately recommended this to me. I thought oh god.. she’s just trying to sell the new range. But she gave me a good healthy sample and told me to try it for a few days and I’d see the difference myself. And sure enough I did.

My skin definitely feels amazing since trying this. I have really itchy and dry skin but after sleeping in this – my skin feels like a baby bottom – definitely recommend this!

YSL Black Opium – £30

My first sale purchase woo! I’m a big fan of Jimmy Choo perfumes but really wanted to try something new this time around – this one definitely matches the quality of Jimmy Choo! It smells AMAZING! 😍

I also had a few other purchases but I’d rather swatch those rather than just review them.. hope you enjoyed the read 🙂



Eyeliner? So many choices!

Eyeliners can come in practically any form from pencils to crayons felt tips to paint – possibilities are endless!

I’ve picked out my three go tos that I use for different purposes. I really feel like I’ve adapted it so it’s easy for myself but I really do get the look I want out of it.

Not yet confident enough with my face to post a final look but one day 🙈

Bourjois Kohl & Contour Pencil Eyeliner (pencil eyeliner)

I’ve gone through a lot of pencil eyeliners and they always used to end up halfway down my face, smudging everywhere and just looking very amateurish, giving an overall panda look. This pencil eyeliner I think is perfect especially for those who are new to doing eyeliners. It comes with a nifty pencil sharpener so you don’t have to run around looking for one when you go blunt 😅 it really doesn’t smudge either.. the colour is so dark that back in the days when I used to use it for upper liner people used to confuse it for liquid. Super easy to use!

I personally use it at the moment just to line my lower lash line and sometimes if I’m in the mood the inner upper lash line – just to get a more defined look.

L’Oréal Super Liner (liquid liner)

I used to use the gold version of this liquid liner but I just prefer the Super Black because of the colour. The great thing about this eyeliner is it is SO easy to create a wing and good to practise with as well. Once you apply it, it dries pretty quick. So if you make a mistake you don’t need to worry about smudging it when wiping it, it will literally just peel off. It doesn’t peel off too easily so it will last the whole day too.

I only ever use this on special occasions for meet ups, gatherings etc when I’m in the mood for a bit of a flick. (Exciting life!)

Maybelline Lasting Drama Gel Eyeliner (gel eyeliner)

I can’t get my head around these gel eyeliners. I’ve seen some people make a really nice flick free hand and I’ve just sat there and watched them in awe. But out of all of them this has to be the best high street brand I’ve come across personally.

I use this to go over what I’ve already done with a liquid eyeliner just to get a stronger colour. Don’t personally use this a lot as I’m not quite the eyeliner pro yet!

Comment your favourites below 🙂 id love to try some suggestions!



Dry/itchy/spotty skin?

I’m not going to claim to be an expert cos I am FAR from it.. there’s such a variety of products and techniques for different types of skin, it’s incredibly hard to find something to suit everyone.

Im going to give a few pointers on what helped me relieve that horrible itchy feeling!

Drink lots of water!

I used to be allergic to water (psychologically) but it honestly makes all the difference. It’s known to clear out the toxins and bacteria, and also providing a natural moisturising agent.

Avoid using fragranced make up wipes

..or if you can avoid using any type of wipes.. I personally feel like wipes just move the dirt around on your face. I used make up wipes for eye make up just because I hate using any type of liquidy make up due to having extremely sensitive eyes

Natural Products

This ones by far my favourite to do! Not only are you not using toxicated products with the fear of breaking out in spots, the feeling afterwards is incredible. The particular routine I used was as follows.

  1. Make sure you have a clean dry face to start with.
  2. Mixing sugar with a little water, exfoliate all over your face and rinse clean.
  3. Dipping a face cloth into steaming water (don’t burn yourselves) place the cloth over your face for a few minutes or so.
  4. Rinse your face
  5. Prepare a mask – (hot chocolate, coffee granules, honey – don’t know exact quantities) – leave on for 15 minutes
  6. As sticky and messy as it sounds – the results are impeccable!

Baby Products

This ones a bit of a weird one and I’m surprised no ones ever recommend it to me before. I tried Clinique, Clarin, L’Oréal moisturisers and then accidentally came across some baby rash cream in an emergency. It wasn’t fragranced, it didn’t irritate my skin and managed to do the job pretty well.

The one I used was Sudocream but E45 and Aveeno are great too.

Not an expert again.. but tips that have worked for me! 🙈




A bit about me..

20 something.. or maybe a bit older.. or younger.. let’s just keep this one a secret.

As a massive make up fan and always intrigued in trying new products, I thought why not use the time to blog about a few of my favourites and give other people a chance a to try them to?

Not just limited to make up products/skincare but if there are any products out there that anyone has wanted to try but doesn’t quite have the willpower to go out and buy it, leave it in the comments below 🙂

Coming soon,



Real love.

How do you know when love is real? How do you know when what you’re feeling isn’t just another fling, it’s not a crush, it’s not an obsession, it’s not lust?

You just know.

For a long time I really believed that love didn’t exist. I’ve seen so many people love and get hurt and spend their nights crying and their days plotting on revenge..

And that’s exactly how I spent my first few months after I left him too..

but something changed.. I don’t know when and I don’t know how.

everyones always said to me that I place my worth in other people. If I don’t find it in one, il look for someone else and place it in them.. I did this too. And it worked. All for about two minutes.

it was probably in late September that it hit me.. six months after I left him. I didn’t love him cos he gave me a sense of loving, I just loved him because of him. And even though he didn’t appreciate me in that moment.. I wasn’t going to place my self worth in someone else’s hands and expect them to love me instead. And live happily ever after.

they tell me he’s moving on, he’s looking for someone else. Alhamdulilah good for him.. I’m glad he’s moving on. They ask me why I’m waiting for him and I tell them honestly that I’m not.

It hurts me that my future with him is over but what can I do.. it doesn’t hurt me that he’s moving on. Just because he’s ready to move on doesn’t mean I am.

Il watch him move on, I’m happy he has a future with someone else. But I don’t want to.. I’m not going to hurt someone else by being either being a bad wife or not being able to love them the way I love him. I know what I’m doing and it’s not a decision I’ve made in vain.. it’s been hard but I know it’s right for me. I truly believe I loved him as wholly as possible because Allah destined him for me. Just because our story was short, doesn’t mean it wasn’t to be. I just believe that I’m not meant for anyone else. And I’m happy to accept that.

thats how I know il never love another man like him and he will always be my first. The only man who I would happily lose just so I could see him smile again.. even if that meant watching him give someone else everything I ever asked for.

Love isn’t destructive and love sure as hell doesn’t hurt. It struggles but it always puts the other person first. And to do that without hurting is so incredibly mind blowing – that you can only call it love.