All I want to do tonight is curl up into a tiny little ball and scream. Scream, cry and shout because I want the pain to go away.
I want to blame someone, something, a situation, an occurrence, something – anything.
But there’s nothing. I literally just feel pain because of nothing.
There’s just something inside of me that’s eating me alive and begging for freedom and I can’t let it go. I don’t how to free myself from this nightmare and just feel happy again.
I want to be great. I want to be myself. I want love to stop hurting. I want to stop putting myself in situations where I know I can’t cope.
I want to kiss you again. Hug you again. Spend the night with you again. Laugh, cuddle and just lay with you just once.
Just one last time. I need you just for one last night.
This shit is killing me.
I don’t know why I keep telling myself it’s okay to fall for someone new. And this time I really have.. and I don’t know how to deal with it. I don’t know how to trust him, how to let him in, be loyal and caring towards him.
I’ve damaged my own mind and I’m damaging the people around me.
I need help. I need help please.
I’m so confused…