Part 7…

“I’m sorry.”

I read the text again.

The words remain.

“I’m sorry.”

Was this some sick joke?

I ignore it. Lock my phone screen.

My homepage lights up again.

“I have to see you.”

I laugh to myself. This was becoming a joke.

What am I supposed to say?

I put my phone on silent. And hide it under my pillow.

I close my eyes.

Please let me fall asleep.

My mind wanders.

I have to know what he wants.

I check my phone. There’s an array of messages.

“I know you’re ignoring me.”

“I was upset.”

“Just see me for ten minutes.”

I reply. I want to see him too.

“Leave me alone.”

That’s how my mind works. 

“Ten minutes is all I need.”

This was gonna work two ways.

1 – he’s playing a game.

2 – he won’t turn up.

Well.. I guess it’s worth a try?

“Ok – ten minutes.”

“Really?”

“Yes, really.”

I laugh to myself. I know in my heart he won’t turn up.

But that’s okay. I was going to sleep anyway.

But five minutes later, my phone vibrates.

“I’m outside your back garden.”

My heart stops.

He can’t be.

I run to the window and look. But the street lights are off.. it’s hard to see.

I ignore the text.

He has to be lying.

“Are you coming?”

“You’re lying. And I’m going to sleep.”

My hearts racing.

I know he would never come to my door. 

But why would he lie?

“Alright cool.”

It doesn’t make any sense.

And suddenly.. I hear footsteps coming up the front path.

My security light switches on.

I don’t want to look out the window.

I refuse to.

I hear a rustle and my phone vibrates again.

The footsteps become quieter. As if.. they’re walking away.

“I’ve left you something outside. Take care.”

Anxiety overtakes me.

He was outside my door.

He came to my house to see me.

And I didn’t even acknowledge him.

I check my window. The street lights are still off.

It’s still dark.

I leave my room and creep down the stairs quietly. Cautious not to wake anyone up.

How would I explain this?

I open my front door. The cold air hits me. I begin to shiver. The darkness is terrifying. 

But sure enough.

There on the ledge of the window.

Was a small plastic bag.

I reach inside..

And pull out a small cupcake laced with pink icing and the words “I’m sorry” iced in white.

I smile.

Close the door.

And run up to my room with a warmth in my heart.

What was he doing to me?

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Half my Deen.

“I want to complete half my Deen.”

Half your Deen isn’t a signature on a piece of a paper.

It’s love. Respect. Sacrifice. Compassion. Motivation. Happiness. Growth. Charity. Support. Protection. Priorities. Challenges. Patience. Encouragement. Responsibilities. 

It’s a relationship created for the sake of our happiness and yet we fail to accept the beauty of how this amazing conjoinment can change our lives.

SubhanAllah open your eyes to this beautiful institution ❤

The end is near..

Imagine standing on a glass floor.

Underneath the glass floor is a drop of a thousand miles.. And you can’t see where it ends.

You avoid the floor. You’re always cautious when you walk over it and you live in constant fear that one day it’s going to break and you will fall.. You will fall and you don’t know how the fall will end.

One day the glass starts to crack and you realise the end is near. The glass floor won’t last.. Your fall is inevitable. You have to let go.

But you refuse. You grab hold of the walls, hurting yourself in the process. You’re screaming, you become weak. But you don’t won’t to let go.

The walls begin to crumble and your fingers can’t hold on any longer. You realise, the inevitable is here.

It’s over.. 

You let go.

You let yourself.

This thousand mile drop.

Hurting yourself along the way. It’s painful, it’s killing you.

But you’re facing it. You’re not living in fear anymore. You’re taking the pain as it comes. You know eventually the pain will finish.

And then the drop ends.. And you realise.. It’s not a painful end. It doesn’t end in death.. You’re in a room.. The floor is made out of cushions. You’ve landed softly.

The pain is still in you. You are still hurting from the fall.

But you no longer live in fear that the glass will break.

Face life’s difficulties.

With every difficulty comes ease inshAllah!

❤️